Smartest. Dog. Ever.
Stella just lost her shit barking at yet another commercial for Whitney.
I couldn’t agree more. That show needs to be canceled… immediately.
If I ever cross the line, please punch me in the face.
Today I saw one of my old teachers, a 40-something divorcee with a kid, walking into Express Tan in a skirt and bright orange Hello Kitty t-shirt. There is a big difference between being a hip and/or fun teacher and being a walking advertisement for desperation and attention.
Did I mention she has big fake boobs? I didn’t? My mistake, I guess I thought it went without saying.
The problem with being a UK fan is that, while I realize these gloves are ridiculously stupid, I still want them.
Someone get me a chocolate lab and a Land’s End catalog.
“Panera’s Pumpkin Latte isn’t quite as good as Starbuck’s.”
—Me to Suzanne
When did I become so white?
I hope they’re not recruiting.
This morning I missed a call from a number I didn’t recognize. After some investigating, I found out it was Western State Hospital, an in-patient psychiatric facility in Hopkinsville. I’m not sure I even want to know what that was about.
I’m not an alcoholic; I’m homeopathic.
The only good thing about being sick is that no one judges you if you have a hot toddy for breakfast.
It’s amazing what the onset of a cold can do.
Yesterday, I got mistaken for a high school student more than once at the school I’ve worked at since August. Today, the guy at the drive through called me ma’am. Fuck you, germs.
I’m going to call him Blabio.
Last night I saw Black Fabio and Ginger Jack Sparrow at a parking-lot paint rave.
